6 Weight Loss Tips From The Devil

Okay let’s look at fat loss and losing weight from a different point of view for a change. I secured an exclusive interview with the devil and he gave me the rundown, down to the letter, for what you have to do if you want to get the best weight loss tips around.

After all, the devil proudly told me that back in the day he used to work in the gym as a personal trainer.

In this instance, the devil is your belly fat and this is what he wants you to do. You see this belly fat of yours wants to stick around. In fact, he wants to invite his friends to the party so there are more of them. His goal is to see your belly get bigger and bigger and you unhealthier and unhealthier each as each year passes.

So I now present you with these 6 special weight loss tips sent directly from the devil:

This Guy Wants Your Belly to Stay Fat

1) Eat Low Fat Foods & Drink Diet Soft Drinks:
The devil wants you to know that the artificial sweeteners that he puts into these foods are really healthy for you. He says that by drinking a diet soft drink with your lunch every day you will be helping your belly fat burn faster because there is only 1 calorie in a diet coke.

The devil also told me that these artificial sweeteners and extra sugar put in low fat food to provide a hint of taste that has been taken out with the fat has no long term side effects.

2) Drink Alcohol With Dinner Every Night:
The devil says look at the research that says a couple of glasses of wine or beer after work each day is actually beneficial to your health as good reason why you should be drinking every night.

He says the calories from these drinks can easily substitute for calories that would normally have come from food. After all isn’t a calorie a calorie?

3) Do Pump Classes & Aerobics Classes at the Gym & Train on Machines Like the Leg Extension:
The devil whispered to me that women should never use big weights in the gym because they can bulk up and no man wants a woman who looks more intimidating then they do right? So the answer here is to do the pump classes with your little 1kg weight plates on each side and to do these constant repetitions mindlessly for the hour long workout.

If you are training in the gym the devil recommends the best machines to use in your gym workout routine are definitely the leg extension machine and the Assisted Chin Ups and Dips station closely followed by the Ab Crunch machine that is really safe for your back.

The devil says keep watching the scales every day to increase your chance of losing weight

4) Go to Bed Late and Watch TV Until the Wee Hours of the Morning:
The devil says the best shows on TV are always on late at night so you’d be crazy to miss them. He means how could you go without ever seeing that infomercial for the 99th time of the Ab circle or even the Ab King Pro – absolute must watches.

In fact, the devil did list his favourite piece of workout equipment as the Ab King Pro that he picked up on one of these late night infomercials. That alone was responsible for his six pack. He swears!

The devil’s motto has long been “Sleep is for the weak” and he wants you to sleep when you’re dead. In fact, there’s plenty of time for that we he lives.

5) Don’t Eat Breakfast Everyday Because It Gives You Too Many Total Calories:
The devil wants you to also know that eating breakfast is a waste of time. Why get up an extra 15 minutes early each day just to eat something that is going to give you more calories then you need – especially when you didn’t get to bed until 1am after watching all those infomercials.

He thinks it’s a myth that not eating breakfast actually encourages your belly fat to stay around. Case in point being the devil hasn’t had breakfast for years and you always see him with a ripped six pack in the pictures of him. Don’t you? He was pretty insistent on that one.

He did concede though that if you must have breakfast, definitely make it a processed breakfast cereal that has a list of ingredients as long as your arm that you can’t even pronounce because it has a “balanced” ratio of protein and carbs and it definitely is 99% fat free.

The devil did say only eat eggs or porridge if you are sick of your belly fat being around which he very much doubts that you are.

6) Go for 1 Hour Long Runs Every Day As Aerobic Training Burns More Fat:
The devil believes that interval training routines are for sissies.

The best form of training to get rid of your belly fat is without a doubt the good old 1 hour run on the treadmill and that anybody who doesn’t have one hour a day to train might as well not bother.

When I questioned the validity of that statement the devil pointed to the treadmill that he was working out on to show me the total calories that he had burned just doing that run.

When I pointed out that the calorie counter on this treadmill didn’t take into account his age, sex, weight or height he wouldn’t have a bar of it insisting that they wouldn’t put such a deceiving piece of equipment in gym.

The Devil wants you looking like this bloke

And here’s a little bonus tip because the devil really, really doesn’t want you to succeed with this mission:

Definitely don’t buy the Aussie Fatblast gym workout routine that blasts your belly fat away with workouts that take only 20-30 minutes each day. You definitely don’t want to be caught seen doing this program in your gym. Who knows what people might think if you actually start to lose that spare tyre…

And in case you haven’t picked up on the sarcasm in this message if you do the exact opposite of everything that I just mentioned you will lose your belly fat for sure and certain!

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